The value of pictures

Why Images are so much more powerful than statements

 I was re-reading a scene from my work in progress the other day. It’s an episode where a child is struck down with a life-threatening illness - a potential second tragedy for a family whose father was killed two years previously. The scene is channelled through the viewpoint of the child’s older sister Alice, who is a nurse. I am at pains to point out that Alice feels a responsibility for her family, particularly the mother who she’s desperate to protect from another loss. A few paragraphs into the scene, I wrote: Mum couldn’t cope with any more losses. So far so good. But then I repeat the idea a page or so later: She’d do all she could to protect Mum from another terrible loss. To my horror, at the end of the scene, I pointed out again: Mum couldn’t cope with another terrible blow. Oh dear! I do go on. And if I’m irritated by the repetition, I can be pretty sure my reader will be too. But how do I keep the tension of the scene present without pointing out from time to time what’s at stake?

            It was only when I put the problem to one side that I realised what I needed to do. I remembered a scene from ‘A Christmas Carol’ where the mean Ebenezer Scrooge is shown a haunting picture of the future, where his nephew’s disabled child, Tiny Tim, dies and the family are bereft. Dickens could have told us this was a possibility, but showing it to us (and Scrooge) is so much more powerful. My most effective recourse was to do the same. Instead of constantly stating the danger, I now need to paint a picture of it. So I put an image into Alice’s mind, painting a horrifying future where there are now two empty places at the kitchen table, constantly reminding the remaining family members of their loss. By projecting Alice’s fears forward, she and the reader are shown an appalling possibility, raising the stakes for her current efforts. Well, that’s the intention anyway. I have no idea whether the scene will make the final cut but at least I’ve had a stab at removing some of the repetition, and hopefully the incident will be richer for it. 

            And once again I’m indebted to Charles Dickens for helping me out.